How does one forgive themselves? Or someone close to them, for a most painful disappointment?
This was my response:
Step by step instructions for how to let it go and grow:
- Take a deep breath every time you think of something you need to let go or forgive.
- Put it in perspective. Ask yourself, "How important will this be in a year? How important will it be in ten years? How important is it to people on the other side of the world? How important is it to the universe?" Remember then, that it is not. The importance is only immediate and only to you. Ultimately none of reality hinges on this one thing. Let that be a weight off of your shoulders.
- Remember that you are the one in control of your perspective. You can choose to open or close your eyes, you can choose to hear words with a certain understanding of meaning, there is nothing about you which you can not change.
- See the situation from more than your own perspective. Try thinking of how it would seem to your friends, your enemies, your teachers, your children and people you've never met. Your view is not all of reality. How comforting!
- Tell yourself you've already let it go. If you keep telling yourself you're not done with it, you'll hold on to it as firmly as you intend to throw it away.
- Repeat steps 1-5 three times. Reassuring yourself of these things three times will confirm the truth for your world.
- Eat or drink something that is healthy and do so slowly with appreciation. Take that time to slow down and re-focus your mind. Don't miss that kind of little thing. It's a miracle and miracles are all around you.
- Say a prayer of thanks. Just be thankful for all of the tiniest things in your life and just tell them to the universe/god/a friend/your dog. Talk about things from the present. No need for even thinking about the immediate past, but if there are some good things, go ahead and throw them in too.
- One more deep breath.
- Continue your life as a freer being. Remember this anytime there's something difficult going on. It might not be your difficult thing, but someone else might go through something too. Help them through it with these steps and you'll both feel a lot better.