The Art of Selflessness: Bicycles, Tea and Love

I was recently asked:

[I've] been trying to comprehend, and apply, the "Art of the SELFLESS". What I realized this morning, however, is that while I have always achieved, & percieved, said philosophy through means of a courageous, SINGLE selfless act, it is indeed instead a way of LIFE. So...what would you recommend to a man seeking to arrive at this way of life?

This was my response:

This is indeed both a simple and a complex question at the same time, which one could suppose would make it complex.  However, it is actually quite simple.  Practice love.

That is easy for one to say.  The actual action requires a lot of someone at first.  It is a conscious effort to forgo the generations of instincts we have incorporated into ourselves and our cultures.  It is first and foremost a sacrifice.  But most importantly, it is a sacrifice with zero gain for ourselves.  To someone unaccustomed to this, it might seem crazy, counter intuitive and quite self-destructive.  It is, instead, the greatest thing a person can do every single day. 

Love, by this one's definition, is a pure and selfless sacrifice.  We often confuse love with infatuation or lust but neither of those things are actually love at all.  Love is beyond a concept of self-benefit.  We gain nothing from love.  We can not feel love either.  This may seem strange, but when you love someone, there is no way to be certain they feel it.  We have faith that love is what we are doing and the other person appreciates it.  When a child is told they are loved, it is not a feeling.  When a parent is told they are loved, it certainly warms the heart, but their child rarely understands the depth of the words and their parent's love.  This is quite a thing to think about.  We have only truly felt our own love for others.

This poses quite a problem for many people.  They require validation in their love.  This however, is not really love at all.  Recently, I was riding my bicycle to the train station on a rainy day.  I was going quite fast as I was running a little behind schedule.  Suddenly a young boy, maybe 9 or 10 years old, ran from the far side of the very wide walk way across my path towards his secondary school.  I was aiming right for him.  I never met the boy before, I never saw him again, but I loved him.  I wished him well and that he would have no pain that day.  So, I slid out on my bike in such a manner that we are accustomed to seeing in action films where the person slides under a trucks trailer by sharply turning sideways.  I landed on the ground unharmed, but the bike slid from between my legs toward the boy.  Faster than I thought I could, I caught the bike and threw it over my head so as to keep it from sliding into the child.  It clipped the side of my head as it went and knocked my skull at the temple into the hard stone pavement.  Mildly rattled I got up and assured the woman walking near by that I was fine and continued on my way to the train.  I wasn't angry at all, I wasn't sad at all, I was in pain a bit but I wasn't going to blame the child.  He's a child and I'm a grown man.  After all, I had Judo training to do that night.  The boy did not notice.  His mother looked on from her car in horror as I got up and rode away while her child skipped into his school.  I never saw the child or the mother again but I can tell you this, it was not only the right thing to do, it was love.  I don't care that the child doesn't know what happened.  All that matters is his well being.  This.  This is love.  I have no benefit for the experience and, in fact, my head was swollen to the point of not being able to sleep properly for about 2 or 3 weeks.  This was not a rewarding experience, it was nothing of which to be particularly proud because I was going too fast, and it was certainly not comfortable.  It was however, pure and selfless sacrifice.

The next question someone might ask at this is "How does one do this in every action?"  This is actually a much easier answer.  Understand that every single person you ever meet has the potential to be God/Buddha/Jesus/The single most important person in human history/The cure for cancer, AIDS and world hunger/Your mother/Your sister/Your brother/Your father/Your child/The person who will align the planets and will bring peace to the planet and the rest of the universe.  This understanding will lead you to encourage peace around the world as well as with every single individual you meet.

It is said that one time a great zen monk from Japan was NOT told that the emperor might visit on the day of the first snow but he prepared anyway.  At the first sign of snow, he took all of the meditation pillows from his hall and placed one on each stone on the pathway to his tea house.  When the snow stopped and the next day came, he went out and removed each pillow.  It didn't matter if it was the emperor or a beggar who came next, they would have a clear walkway and when it happened to be the emperor, he was so impressed at the thoroughness that he built a temple for the monk to be head master.  The monk just went back to the old tea house and continued to do as he had done before.  There was no need for reward.  He just did what he would do for anyone.  He would show them love.

Show that same love to everyone.  Friend, foe, family, feline or fox...  That is the way of selflessness.

Osu, love and peace,
   ~至道

Question of the Future

I was recently asked:

Osu

Lately there's been a forceful push (by my parents, particularly my dad) to figure out what I'm going to do in college. My dad said he, "isn't paying for me to be in college for seven years"  hahaha...so I'm reading economics books, religion books, considering a major of math combined with something else, maybe even business, all in an attempt to figure out what I'll major in, but I'm fearful of deciding on a major because I think that it will pave a road for me that isn't one I'll love.  Can you offer advice on how to go about picking a major with freedom of future in mind, or perhaps some advice that I wouldn't think to ask for? 

This was my response:

Let's begin by saying you're not alone.  This question comes up to so many people of so many ages.  "What career/school/major/path is right for me?" comes up in most people's lives every single day.  The answer lies only within each person.  However, there are things one can think about and a story that might help.

First, go to a bookstore or library.  This is the best advice related to figuring out what you really want to do.  This might take a day or so but go to EVERY section of the store.  Pick up at least 1 book from every section that is even mildly interesting to you.  This stack, for most people, should have at least 20 different books in it.  Then start reading one.  If you don't want to put it down in the first 5 minutes, set it aside.  If you do, that subject is not for you at all.   Then you should have a stack that is at least a few books smaller.  At this point, select the one that catches your attention the most and pick it up.  Start skimming through this time.  Look at chapter headings or the first paragraph of each section in the book.  If you want to keep reading for more than 75% of every section, then set that book aside.  If you don't, it goes in the reject pile.  Then you should probably have less than 10 books left.  At that point, pick one and start reading, but also take notes.  What about it do you like?  What are the strong points of the subject?  What are the weak points?  What part makes it interesting?  Then when you've taken notes for about 30 minutes to an hour, go to the next book.  Keep doing this until you've finished them all.  At that point, you look at the notes.  Which sections do you want to expand?  Which do you feel are the most important in your life?  Which are most needed for something that will leave you feeling satisfied in what you are doing?  We must remember that anyone who asks this question is looking for job satisfaction.  If a subject doesn't satisfy, pick another one.  If no subjects seem to satisfy, quit all of what you're doing and go to some place in the world that is in trouble and help with your hands.  There you'll learn what satisfies all beings in the universe.  Love and compassion.

Second, some of us are lucky enough to know exactly what they want to do.  I know that teaching is my way.  There's no other profession that I feel would be right for me at this time.  Perhaps in the future that will change, but right now, I only want a job in education that will eventually lead to the building of the dojo.  I'm really truly blessed with this.  Others however, don't have a clue as to what they want to do.  I heard such a story once.  

A long time ago there was a man who was traveling through India looking for a guru of some kind.  He traveled north and south, east and west and no matter where he went he found only people who would teach him things that he seemed to already know.  Some suggested a study of postures to help him achieve a greater world view, but he had already mastered a great deal of flexibility in his body.  Some suggested seated meditation to help him explore the mysteries of the universe.  He sat and sat and even with perfect posture, nothing came.  Others still thought a venture into the things absurd such as walking on coals or various forms of traditionally taboo ritual would be a way for him to venture into his soul.  But his answer was always one of disgust.  He seemed to know all about many different things but he could not find the right one for him.  He one day came to a field that was just before a valley.  There children stood playing with each other in the flowers.  He watched them for a moment and then suddenly one of them stopped and looked out over the cliff.  He asked the child, "What do you see?"  The child answered, "You can't see it?  It's a butterfly!"  The man looked up and saw no butterflies, only clouds.  He then said, "But there are no butterflies here."  The child looked up at him like he had heard words from a dog.  "Don't be stupid!  Look!  Not here, over there!"  Then the man looked up and saw that the clouds were indeed shaped like a butterfly.  At that moment, he went to the cliff and climbed down into the valley.  He was surrounded by stone and had no tools, but he slowly worked as hard as he could and eventually built a small stone house.  There he lived the rest of his life in peace.  He looked at butterflies every day though no wings ever touched the wind.  

Perspective, my friend, is everything.

Question of Morality

I was recently asked:

Osu. I was thinking about what it means to be a vegetarian; how one might perfectly justify it. I was considering the idea of morals. "What is moral and immoral," and after thinking about it long enough, besides the obvious smoke exiting from my ear canal's, I felt like morals are largely built attachment. It seems that different people have different moral codes. What do you think about morality?


This was my reply:

Morality has only to do with one's personal memory and experience . We must first separate morality from ethics. While ethics are the rules of others, morality is our own rules. Ethics and morals from this stand point are two entirely different kinds of attachments. I am reminded of a story about a great teacher. However, that teacher decided to quit teaching. He came to the conclusion that the world was too attached to one way of living even in the practices of zen. Thus he became a beggar and lived under a bridge with a few homeless men.
At that time, a student from a far away land was coming to see him.  Upon arriving to the monastery where the teacher had previously resided, he learned that the master was no longer there.  He decided that he would search for him.  Long he looked, from temple to temple and could not find the master anywhere.  One day in the middle of winter, he walked by a bridge over a frozen stream and looked over the side and the master was there looking up at him.  The student waved and the master waved and walked back under the bridge.  The student followed him and then asked the master to teach him.  The master at first refused.  The student begged and pleaded with him to reconsider and finally, he relented by saying, "If you can live the way I live here for one week I will teach you."  The student was delighted.  The first thing they did was remove his robes and turned them into blankets.  The student was standing naked in the freezing winter.  He was then given some old rags to keep him warm when not under the blankets.  They slept that night and the student slept soundly with the satisfaction of finding the teacher.
The next day, they found a few places where garbage was regularly disposed and they made a meal of it.  The taste was foul and the portions small but the student choked it down happily knowing that the teacher would teach him.  The night was extremely cold.  They had their small tents but some of the men had fewer blankets.  They shared their blankets with the other men.  However, it didn't keep one of them from dying of hypothermia.  In the morning, they found the body and so, in the snow and ice, they dug for hours.  The student was exhausted but knew the funeral rites and this was the thing they had to do.  When they finally had finished the hole, the teacher stripped the body naked and put it in the grave (Note: Holes only become graves when bodies are in them, interesting.). The student was a taken aback when they put the body in the hole naked.  He felt strange about doing that to this man.  Then, when they had finished, they went back to the bridge.  The teacher went to the dead man's tent and got his food.  The dead man had had a small bit of chicken jerky.  Then he began to feed it to the student.  The student refused and decided to go hungry.  The teacher ate the jerky staring the student in the eye and the student began to cry.  "Leave! You haven't learned anything!"yelled the teacher.  The student went back to the temple in tears.

My question then to you is this.  What was the student's problem?  Clothes are to be worn, bodies are to be buried, food is to be eaten.  What is the moral imperative?  Also, then, why share the food with the other beggars?  These questions seem confusing initially but with a little time and meditation they become clear.

The student was morally opposed to disposing of a body without clothing.  To him it seemed cruel.  However, is it more cruel to deny those alive of a perfectly good thing to keep them warm that is free for the taking?  The answer here is of course!  Further more, the food was for eating.  The student saw it as belonging to this man.  However, that man was no longer there.  Had an animal found it, it would have eaten it.  What makes them different from the animals?  Ultimately nothing.  So eat it!  But morally, that is difficult because we find it to be stealing from the dead.  In this case, the morality is an attachment.

However, the harder question is the one about sharing.  Why share indeed?  The simple answer.  It is the right thing to do.  Morally?  Ethically?  No.  Universally the right thing to do.  Help those in need is not a moral imperative.  It is in fact, a way of letting go of the self and those moral attachments.  Help without fear of death, help without fear of starving, help without fear of wrong doing.  These actions lead to a peace beyond the self and has nothing to do with morality.  How interesting it is, though, that we lump the two together so frequently!  This is the reason the steam spewed from your ears.  You must learn to take things apart and look at them for what they are not for what they seem to be.  Morals are based on good ideas, but become too attached to them and they will lead you astray from reality.

What do I think of morality?
Live rightly, not morally.